Definition of Success

Wow. Has it really been nearly a month since my last post?

Seems so.

Life has been keeping me on my toes lately. Between children out of school, searching for a new preschool, family visitors, family health issues, business growth and summer fun, time to write here dropped down on the priority list.

But I am here now, and that is what matters. My business success and life enjoyment is not dependent on how many blog entries I post per week or per month.

The theme of Redefining Success has been coming up a lot lately for many of my clients. It seems as if there are many women who are realizing that it's time to look at the idea of success in a new way.

As women, we've been told over the years that we can "have it all". However, we've also been told that to have it all we must be Super Women, working crazy hours at work and home, tending to everyone's needs but our own, and sacrificing our health, relationships and fun. Is that how you want to define success?

What if success looked something like this:

• I do work that I really, really enjoy and which I know I am good at.
• I make good money doing work that I really, really enjoy.
• The time I spend on my career/business supports my professional goals, but is also a means to support my personal goals. Therefore, I have a schedule that allows me time for myself, for my family and for my relationships.
• I am physically, emotionally and mentally healthy and I've found ways to support myself in these areas in order to maintain that health.
  
• I am a present and active mother, but I am not defined only as a mother.
  
• I have a productive and engaging career, but I am not defined only as my career.
• I have a fun and fulfilling relationship, but I am not defined as only a wife/partner.
• I operate from a place of what is best for my highest good (and the highest good of those around me) as opposed to what I think I SHOULD do or based on what others are doing.

How are you defining success these days? If you are operating from an old definition of success, or someone else's definition of success, there's a good chance that you are constantly feeling like you aren't quite as successful as you'd like to be or should be.

Begin creating a new definition of success today and see how it shifts your life.

It IS Personal

I have heard on more than one occasion that you shouldn't mix the personal with the professional. Well, that's a bunch of B.S. The two are so inter-mixed, especially for those who are moms and who are doing work they love or feel they are doing what they are called to do on a professional level.

And what about the fact that when one is working, they are still a mother, a wife, a partner, a daughter, a friend, etc. Those aspects of your personal life don't just magically disappear when you are working.

Life--work and all--IS personal. It's an expression of who we are, what we love and what we stand for.

So thinking that there's some magical balance or line between your professional world and your personal world is part of what makes working women feel even more crazed. We are striving for something that is an impossibility.

Instead, think about what Total Life Success means to you. How do you want to define success on a personal and professional level? What would feel good to you? How do you want to feel as a mother? As a wife? As a leader? As a woman?

Use how you feel as the barometer for your success. If you have a nagging feeling about working through dinner a lot lately and not eating with the family, make a different choice that feels better. If you've been thinking a lot about wanting some time to do some work outside the home that supports your professional interests, but haven't out of guilt or fear of how it will impact your family, make a different choice that feels better.

It's not about defining yourself in this box or that box and expecting you to only be this during these hours and that during these hours. Yes, we do need some time when we focus on just one thing, otherwise we end up feeling less productive or like we are not present with the things or people we most care about.

But we are multi-faceted, multi-dimensional, dynamic woman. It's okay to acknowledge and appreciate the fact that the personal is mixed in with the professional and the professional is mixed in with the personal. Perhaps if we stop resisting it so much, things would flow a little easier. And we could each experience our own Total Life Success based on who we are, what we love, and how we feel.

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Interested in defining your own Total Life Success based on who you are, what you stand for, and how you want to feel? Contact me at nicola[dot]trueinsightscoaching[dot]com for a complimentary coaching consultation, which includes a twenty minute sample session.