As a way of helping to keep me grounded and remind me how I want to be as a mother I came up with the following Motherhood Mantra.
- I will honor this stage of life.
- I will define my own success based on how I feel.
- I will let be gentle and compassionate with myself.
- I will let go of guilt, judgments and perfectionism.
- I will take care of me so that I can care for others.
I find this really working for me. This morning, after realizing that I had messed up by telling my 2.5 year old daughter that she could get out of bed because I thought it was 6:15 a.m. instead of the actual time of 5:15 a.m., I found myself lying beside her in her bed saying, "Be gentle and compassionate with myself. So I messed up. It's okay."
Instead of lying there trying to figure out how I was going to get her back to sleep or what was going to happen at daycare if she didn't go back to sleep, I instead enjoyed my time snuggling with my daughter's warm body. This doesn't happen often in our house since we've never been co-sleepers and we are pretty firm with our rules around each person sleeping in their own bed.
But this morning, at 5:15 a.m., I found myself having more compassion for my mistake in mis-reading the time, letting go of the guilt and honoring the special time that it provided for my daughter and me.
And what a pleasant surprise when she finally fell back to sleep.
If you want a copy of this Motherhood Mantra to put on your refrigerator, email me at "nicola (at) trueinsightscoaching.com" [type out as normal email address with the "@" symbol] and I'll gladly mail a magnet to you. Or, better yet, consider creating your own Motherhood Mantra! If you do, please send me yours. I'd love to see what others come up with.)