Today was one of those days when I had a few too many really great things packed a little too closely together. From 10 a.m. until 4 p.m. I was doing just what it is I love to do: having deep and inspiring conversations with people I enjoy. However, without a break between appointments or time to eat, I literally felt ill by the end of the day.
So now I have learned a very valuable lesson. That because of who I am and the type of relationships I choose to have (both personally and professionally), it is extremely important for me to balance out my days between connection with others and time by myself to recharge. It seems sort of silly, but I am thinking that I will start scheduling in my "recharge time" between appointments and conversations with others.
Tomorrow I get to try it all again!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Day Five: Move-My-Body Challenge
Saturday morning was such a perfect family morning. After a yummy breakfast out, we headed over to the Berkeley Marina. I am a bit embarrassed to admit that this was our first experience there in our four and a half years of living in the Bay Area. We didn't really know what to expect, but my instinct told me that it was the place for us to go for a stroll by the water.
I am not sure how long we walked, skipped, ran, danced and laughed because I was too caught up in the magic of the experience with Bill and the girls. But I do know that I am counting this as my "move-my-body" experience for the day. If you haven't been to the pier at the Berkeley Marina yet, I definitely recommend it. I am guessing that it's about a mile long; jetting straight out into the bay. It feels as if you've walked half-way to San Francisco. We played our way down the pier and back, stopping every-so-often to look at the birds, count the boats and cheer the fishermen on (we even saw a boy catch a sting ray!).
How did I feel during: In the moment; happy; connected to my family; in awe by the length of the pier and beauty of the still bay.
How did I feel afterwards: Thrilled that I had followed my instinct to try the marina on that particular morning and achieved moving my body in such a fun and enjoyable way with Bill and the girls.
I am not sure how long we walked, skipped, ran, danced and laughed because I was too caught up in the magic of the experience with Bill and the girls. But I do know that I am counting this as my "move-my-body" experience for the day. If you haven't been to the pier at the Berkeley Marina yet, I definitely recommend it. I am guessing that it's about a mile long; jetting straight out into the bay. It feels as if you've walked half-way to San Francisco. We played our way down the pier and back, stopping every-so-often to look at the birds, count the boats and cheer the fishermen on (we even saw a boy catch a sting ray!).
How did I feel during: In the moment; happy; connected to my family; in awe by the length of the pier and beauty of the still bay.
How did I feel afterwards: Thrilled that I had followed my instinct to try the marina on that particular morning and achieved moving my body in such a fun and enjoyable way with Bill and the girls.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Reaching Out
I recently threw a couple of Life Purpose Parties with my friend and hand-analysis Laura Kennedy (more about that in a future post). I found it interesting, and yet not surprising, that nearly everyone who participated said that connection (connecting with self, with others and with nature) was a key component of passion, joy and pleasure in their lives.
What does surprise me is how much we limit the opportunities for connection (again, with our self, others and nature) because we are so busy trying to do so many things. I realize this relates a bit to my previous post, but what prompted my post today was this article.
The article claims that having a strong social network can help you deal with stresses of everyday life. I find this to be true, if (and this is a big if) I choose to spend time with people who help fill me up rather then drain me. There's such a big difference between connecting with people who you enjoy being around, you feel good being around and with whom you feel a--well--connection, versus those who leave you feeling overwhelmed, undermined and empty.
Perhaps it's less about how many people we have connections with and more about the depth of those connections. That and consciously choosing to reach out to those people in order to further develop the relationship, grow the community and feel the connection that feeds our soul.
What does surprise me is how much we limit the opportunities for connection (again, with our self, others and nature) because we are so busy trying to do so many things. I realize this relates a bit to my previous post, but what prompted my post today was this article.
The article claims that having a strong social network can help you deal with stresses of everyday life. I find this to be true, if (and this is a big if) I choose to spend time with people who help fill me up rather then drain me. There's such a big difference between connecting with people who you enjoy being around, you feel good being around and with whom you feel a--well--connection, versus those who leave you feeling overwhelmed, undermined and empty.
Perhaps it's less about how many people we have connections with and more about the depth of those connections. That and consciously choosing to reach out to those people in order to further develop the relationship, grow the community and feel the connection that feeds our soul.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Turn It Off
I was very proud of my husband last night when he decided to turn off the baseball game (he is a huge Red Sox fan, so I know this was probably challenging for him) in order to focus on reading to Ella, my step-daughter. You should have seen the smile on her face when her dad clicked off the TV and said, "this is Ella time."
It seems as if we have all become master multi-taskers. We have been taught, and now believe, that we are more successful when we are doing multiple tasks at once. However, it has occurred to me that a result of our need to be doing more then one thing at a time is a loss of depth and connection with ourselves and those around us.
Yes, I may be able to accomplish more faster if I am responding to a work email while discussing the weekend's plans on the phone with my husband or talking to my mom on my cell phone while pushing my daughter on the swing, but what it is costing me?
It costs me an opportunity to be in the moment and fully connect with one other person. The email response is shorter and more abrupt and there are typos because I wasn't fully paying attention. My husband gets frustrated because I don't remember what we decided on. My mom keeps getting interrupted as I deal with my daughter. And my daughter is playing at the park with a mom who is not available to play with her.
Seeing the look on Ella's face when her dad declared that the following 15 minutes was her time and not her time shared with the TV (or anything else for that matter) reminded me of how important it is to make the conscious choice to choose connection--choose the relationship. Not all the time, but some of the time. Turn off the technology (or one piece of the technology) and give just one thing or one person your undivided attention. Especially when it comes to kids, sometimes even just 15 minutes of an adult (preferably their parent) focusing just on them with no other distractions is enough to last them an entire day (or longer).
Try it out. The next time you find yourself doing more than one thing at once, especially in the area of communication with others, see what if feels like to turn something off and choose one task or person to give your focus to.
It seems as if we have all become master multi-taskers. We have been taught, and now believe, that we are more successful when we are doing multiple tasks at once. However, it has occurred to me that a result of our need to be doing more then one thing at a time is a loss of depth and connection with ourselves and those around us.
Yes, I may be able to accomplish more faster if I am responding to a work email while discussing the weekend's plans on the phone with my husband or talking to my mom on my cell phone while pushing my daughter on the swing, but what it is costing me?
It costs me an opportunity to be in the moment and fully connect with one other person. The email response is shorter and more abrupt and there are typos because I wasn't fully paying attention. My husband gets frustrated because I don't remember what we decided on. My mom keeps getting interrupted as I deal with my daughter. And my daughter is playing at the park with a mom who is not available to play with her.
Seeing the look on Ella's face when her dad declared that the following 15 minutes was her time and not her time shared with the TV (or anything else for that matter) reminded me of how important it is to make the conscious choice to choose connection--choose the relationship. Not all the time, but some of the time. Turn off the technology (or one piece of the technology) and give just one thing or one person your undivided attention. Especially when it comes to kids, sometimes even just 15 minutes of an adult (preferably their parent) focusing just on them with no other distractions is enough to last them an entire day (or longer).
Try it out. The next time you find yourself doing more than one thing at once, especially in the area of communication with others, see what if feels like to turn something off and choose one task or person to give your focus to.
Day Four: Move-My-Body Challenge
Another day down. Today was a 30 minute walk pushing Lindsay in the stroller: 15 minutes up to Starbuck's to meet a friend and her son and 15 minutes back. Who says you can't incorporate some coffee and socialization into your daily exercise?!
How did I feel beforehand: Well, at first I felt like I was cheating a bit because it wasn't going to be a "real workout". However, then it occurred to me that my goal isn't to work-out each day or even to loose weight. My goal is to simply move my body each day for at least 30 minutes. That is such a shift in my thinking; it's less about the outcome and more about enjoying the journey on a daily basis (isn't that the secret of life?).
How I felt during: Since I had gone with the comfy sweats and running shoes, it made it easy to pick up the pace (that and the fact that I was running late meeting my friend). I loved the feeling of walking briskly down the street with the sun shining and the leaves crunching under my feet. I also loved sharing the experience with Lindsay.
How I felt afterwards: Happy that I walked instead of drove. Happy that I had incorporated moving my body into social and mommy time. I've also felt motivated all day to do a bit more. I plan to do the Abs Diet weight routine while watching "The Office" tonight.
How did I feel beforehand: Well, at first I felt like I was cheating a bit because it wasn't going to be a "real workout". However, then it occurred to me that my goal isn't to work-out each day or even to loose weight. My goal is to simply move my body each day for at least 30 minutes. That is such a shift in my thinking; it's less about the outcome and more about enjoying the journey on a daily basis (isn't that the secret of life?).
How I felt during: Since I had gone with the comfy sweats and running shoes, it made it easy to pick up the pace (that and the fact that I was running late meeting my friend). I loved the feeling of walking briskly down the street with the sun shining and the leaves crunching under my feet. I also loved sharing the experience with Lindsay.
How I felt afterwards: Happy that I walked instead of drove. Happy that I had incorporated moving my body into social and mommy time. I've also felt motivated all day to do a bit more. I plan to do the Abs Diet weight routine while watching "The Office" tonight.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Bring Back that Love'n Feel'n
My husband and I had a recent conversation about how easy it's become to forget to do the little things to show each other that we care. It's not something that I really wanted to admit, but it had been nagging at me that neither of us were making the effort to say, "I love you" in the sweet and romantic ways we once use to.
I know, I know; many people say that's just what happens over time in relationships. And when you add young kids to the mix, time and attention between the two adults in the house becomes even more limited. But, honestly, that's just not OK with me. I like the way it feels to get those sweet, romantic reminders that my husband is thinking of me. Even when it's just him surprising me with my guilty pleasure of a celebrity magazine tucked away in the grocery bag, it feels good.
But it goes both ways. Whether it's leaving a note on his pillow when I leave for a trip or sending him a loving email message at work, I now realize that for us, consciously choosing to do the little things helps us feel more connected. It can become all too easy to get caught up in life and expect our relationships to just continue on auto-pilot without much effort or attention on our part. But creating, continuing and growing a loving, fulfilling relationship requires attention and appreciation...and the little gestures along the way that say, "I choose you again today."
I know, I know; many people say that's just what happens over time in relationships. And when you add young kids to the mix, time and attention between the two adults in the house becomes even more limited. But, honestly, that's just not OK with me. I like the way it feels to get those sweet, romantic reminders that my husband is thinking of me. Even when it's just him surprising me with my guilty pleasure of a celebrity magazine tucked away in the grocery bag, it feels good.
But it goes both ways. Whether it's leaving a note on his pillow when I leave for a trip or sending him a loving email message at work, I now realize that for us, consciously choosing to do the little things helps us feel more connected. It can become all too easy to get caught up in life and expect our relationships to just continue on auto-pilot without much effort or attention on our part. But creating, continuing and growing a loving, fulfilling relationship requires attention and appreciation...and the little gestures along the way that say, "I choose you again today."
Day Three: Move-My-Body Challenge
Completed. Done. Mission accomplished.
Today was another 40 minutes of alternating fast walking for one song and jogging for the next.
How did I feel beforehand: Although I was dressed and ready to go I nearly aborted the plan because I thought my Nano was out of juice. Ends up it wasn't; so I got my rear in gear and out the door. It was a good reminder for me that I really do enjoy exercising more when I've got some tunes to keep me company.
How did I feel during: Pretty good. I added a bit more distance today and could feel myself slowing down towards the end of the jogging songs, but my goal is not to run fast, win a race or burn a gazillion calories. Rather, it's simply to find enjoyable ways to move my body on a regular basis.
How did I feel afterwards: Pretty darn good. I was just telling Bill how surprised I am that in just three days of regular body movement I can feel a difference in my muscles. They actually feel stronger. I think they are saying, "thanks for giving me the opportunity to move and stretch today; much appreciated."
Today was another 40 minutes of alternating fast walking for one song and jogging for the next.
How did I feel beforehand: Although I was dressed and ready to go I nearly aborted the plan because I thought my Nano was out of juice. Ends up it wasn't; so I got my rear in gear and out the door. It was a good reminder for me that I really do enjoy exercising more when I've got some tunes to keep me company.
How did I feel during: Pretty good. I added a bit more distance today and could feel myself slowing down towards the end of the jogging songs, but my goal is not to run fast, win a race or burn a gazillion calories. Rather, it's simply to find enjoyable ways to move my body on a regular basis.
How did I feel afterwards: Pretty darn good. I was just telling Bill how surprised I am that in just three days of regular body movement I can feel a difference in my muscles. They actually feel stronger. I think they are saying, "thanks for giving me the opportunity to move and stretch today; much appreciated."
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